Falco's Tavern - Robesonia

It's been four years since my last visit, and I noticed several changes. There's a new sign out front, some friendly faces behind the bar, and what seems to be a new owner. The beer cooler boasts a great selection of craft beers, all priced lower than anywhere else in the area. Smoking is still permitted in the bar, but it’s hardly noticeable. The food menu changes daily, offering a limited selection, but I’ve heard the dishes are quite delicious. I had a nice chat with some friendly locals at the bar, which made me feel welcome this time around. The darts and pool table are always a fun addition. Occasionally, there's a hot dog stand and a chili pot next to the dart board, serving $1 chili dogs. The place tends to get quite busy on late-night weekends.

I have been here many times, and typically there are only one or two people at the bar. Occasionally, there might be a group of around ten, but it doesn't feel very welcoming for newcomers. It definitely serves as a local hangout. Roby House, just a block up the road, usually attracts a lively crowd on weekends, and I would personally recommend it over this place.

That said, there are a few redeeming qualities about this bar: 1. It’s a massive dive, which can actually be fun—especially if you’re catching up with friends and don't want to deal with a lot of noise. 2. The jukebox is great, but I just wish I could get my song queued up before a line of guys, chugging their drinks, decides to play Nickelback or "Friends In Low Places" for the umpteenth time. 3. There's a shuffleboard table, which is definitely a plus. The bartenders, on the other hand, leave much to be desired. I totally get it; serving the same rowdy crowd of loudmouths every night would probably drive me crazy too. But seriously, do any of them know how to smile? The older female bartender, who’s quite intimidating, has never cracked a smile in all my years of coming here. You can just tell she’s ready to unleash some serious wrath if you upset her. In winter, the place has all the warmth of a bar in Siberia. It can be fun for certain groups: (A) Those looking to catch up with friends, (B) Anyone planning to drink heavily without a care in the world, or (C) Seventeen-year-olds trying to use a fake ID. However, the vibe is pretty terrible overall, and their drink selection is lacking. It feels like you’re hanging out in your grandparents' musty basement, complete with creepy spiders and popcorn ceilings. And forget about ordering a cocktail; the bartenders will shut you down faster than you can blink. Here’s a little snapshot of my conversation with the bartender: Me: "What do you have?" Bartender: "Everything." Me: "Can I have a cosmopolitan?" Bartender: "What's that?" Me: "Uh, vodka, cranberry, and triple sec in a martini glass." Bartender: "We don’t make fancy drinks." Me: "Okay, what beers do you have?" Bartender: "Everything." Me: "Do you have an IPA?" Bartender: "What’s that?" Me: "India Pale Ale." Bartender: "We don’t have it!" Me: "What about Blue Moon?" Bartender: "Don’t have it." Me: "I thought you had everything." Me, smiling: "How about Miller, Pabst, or Yuengling?" Me: "I’ll take a Yuengling and be quiet before I end up as someone’s prank prize." So, if you do decide to visit, just prepare yourself for a wild ride!